Survival Guide to Turning 30 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

The stress of turning the big 3-0 is definitely compounded when you live in a foreign country far away from your family and friends and are currently jobless and homeless.  Fortunately for me, when I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.  True story.
Stressed but awesome.  

Survival Guide Tips:
1. Start prepping everyone for your upcoming big day.  Explain that just because the word "day" is part of the word "birthday" this does not mean that one should only celebrate for one day.  Especially when that day is a lame one, like a Wednesday.  Yes, Wednesday, I'm calling you out for being a sucky day.  Try to do better next time; strive to be Friday, Friday knows what's up.

2. If your birthday happens to fall smack dab in the middle of the week plan fun events for the weekends on either end. 
Pre-birthday weekend festivities: 4th of July BBQ
Post-birthday weekend festivities: Trip to Masai Mara to watch the Great Migration

3. Surround yourself with people who have already turned the life-changing age so they can provide reassurances that having a 3 in front of your age is not so scary.  Shun your younger friends who take enjoyment from your downward spiral into adulthood.  Take names so you can exact revenge when their big day comes.

4. Ignore your friends' suggestion that you have a drink for every year you are turning.  "That could be interesting" is not the correct response.  Ignore their rationalizations that 30 drinks over a week is completely possible and the fact that you live in Kenya is not a good enough reason for you to try and accomplish this feat.

5. Chocolate is the key to getting you through this nerve-wracking time.  Little known fact*: Chocolate will end world hunger, cure cancer, and, if used correctly, bring world peace.  
*More of a hypothesis than a fact.  But it is known to induce happiness when taken in large portions.

6. Give yourself permission to pig out at your birthday dinner AND eat dessert.
 Mmmm, flan.

7. Realize that being another year older just means you have maintained your awesome status for an entire year and embrace the fact that you get to bask in your awesomeness indefinitely.

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