Dating Dos and Don'ts: Speed Dating 101

A couple of my good friends collaborated on a speed dating event that was hosted at Divino last week.  I tagged along to help out with registration and sanity maintenance.  As guys are by far the flakier gender, many who RSVPed to the event didn't show and we were scrambling to call friends to come partake.  (Clearly it's a terrible hardship to ask single guys to hang out with 15-20 good looking, eligible women on the prowl for which the ratio is skewed in their favor.)

As I wasn't expecting to meet the love of my life there (no disrespect to the guy selection, I'm just extremely picky AND had the opportunity to scope out the options as they registered AND was already friends with 1/3 of the guys in attendance) I was ready to have some fun with these speed conversations.  A few of my friends who came out in support (and the potential for awesome stories) and I came up with some surefire conversation starters in case of duds.  I mean who doesn't bring up unicorns, LARPing, Renaissance fairs, and zombies on a first date?  Hmmm, maybe this is why I don't date that often.... (For those of you non-geeks out there, LARPing is live action role playing and is most commonly affiliated with the Dungeons and Dragons crowd.  And for the record, I have never LARPed.  Which is more than some of those in attendance at this event could claim, you know who you are.)

                              Who wouldn't want to research the invisibility properties of a unicorn?                            Photo credit:

Sadly the coordinator of the event kept stealing my friends away from me and forcing me to talk to new men without the security blanket of their company.  The first guy did get the privilege of chatting to me and one of my girlfriends.  As it was established rather quickly that he was not going to be a contender for either of our affections I turned the conversation to more interesting topics, i.e. the scientific research possibilities of unicorns.  To the guy's credit, he did laugh and then tried to reinstate some semblance of a serious conversation but unfortunately for him I was having none of that.  I mean is it my fault that Kenyans have no concept of the greatness of Renaissance fairs?  Clearly this would be a good opportunity to discuss LARPing and the awesome potential for dressing up like a knight.  Poor guy didn't know what hit him, perhaps his look of utter confusion is why I got moved to another table with no one I knew. 

The new table had a kind of nerdy (yes, I am going to judge him on his two-toned shirt selection; the 90s called and want their blue shirt with white collar and cuffs back), older (I'm guessing 45ish) gentleman and two other ladies.  I walked in to the middle of their conversation which consisted of him telling us that all men have at least two to three women at a time.  Um, what?  Oh, that's right, this is Kenya.  My conversation starters may have been a bit odd, but that's something you should tell potential dates instead.  Mr. Right wants you, you, AND you.  It got worse.  We were then informed that wives are just for having and raising the children and that the girlfriends were for fun.  So hmmm, which one should I be striving to be again?  At that point I excused myself to the ladies and never returned.

Instead I snagged a seat at another friend's table and hung out there eschewing all chances of meeting other potential dates.  Unproductive perhaps, but entertainment value trumps bad conversation.  So there you have it, Nairobi speed dating in a nutshell.  Now we all know why I'm still single.  Good thing I like cats.

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