Dating Dos and Don'ts: Take One

As mentioned in a previous post I have decided to venture into the dating world during Nairobi 2.0.  As my friends know, I tend to go for a specific "type" of guy, looks and personality wise, which I'm trying to steer clear of this time around.  I meet a ton of guys every time I go out (mostly due to the magical ratio of 8 million guys to 1 girl- I'm not complaining) which is not the best way to meet a potential date, but will lead to fun stories for you, my loyal readers.

So I met this guy at Gipsy's the first weekend I was back in Nairobi.  Let's call him "Rob."  (I swear I'll become more original with the nicknames as I progress.)  I was walking to the bathroom (what did I say about getting pounced on as soon as I leave the pack?)  and he stopped me and said hi and we had a short conversation.  He is Kenyan Indian but has lived in England for many years.  Looks wise he is shorter than what I'm normally attracted to, but living in Kenya you get used to short.  Anyhow, long story short, Rob migrated over to my group of friends and hung around the remainder of the evening.  He seemed like a nice enough guy so I gave him my number.  Tip #1: Guys, just ask a girl for her number or suck it up and ask her out.  There are too many nice guys that talk to girls all night and are clearly interested but never work up the nerve.  It's like a band aid; just rip it off.  It gets easier with time.  She wouldn't waste her time talking to you if she's not the slightest bit interested in you.

We talked and texted on and off over the next few days.  He wanted to meet up on Sunday evening since I was in the area visiting friends but it didn't work out time wise for either of us.  He decided on Tuesday he wanted to come over to my neck of the woods on Wednesday evening for a drink only to discover that night that taxis are expensive.  Which true, they are, but he must have the worst bargaining skills because he was not getting quoted good rates.  Strike 1: Rob blows me off (at the last minute, mind you) because of the cost and how long it would take to get to my neighborhood in traffic.  Guys, if you make plans ahead of time, do not cancel without good reason.  If you are short on cash, it's not a deal breaker, just plan ahead.

Despite the strike against him, I continue communication.  (I have a tendency to let people off the hook too easily.  From now on, guys with no good reason for a blow off get the axe.)  I am walking home from work on Thursday and he calls to see what I am doing.  He suggests I stop on my way home and meet him for a drink at a nearby wine bar.  I'm a spontaneous kind of girl so I say yes.  I met him there and we ordered drinks and chatted for awhile.  After some awkward pauses during which he proceeded to just stare in my general direction, (Strike 2: Learn how to hold a conversation, guys; not being able to hold up your end of any discussion is definitely a deal breaker in my book.), he started talking about how this isn't a good match logistically and he's far too busy with work and dealing with his parents to have a real relationship.  This was fine, sometimes things just don't work out.  (Trust me, I'm not heartbroken over some guy I met a total of twice saying he doesn't have time to pursue me because of how far away I live.)  However, this statement should not be followed by either A) insinuating that I am juggling multiple guys as love interests because you find out that we have one mutual friend who happens to be male, or B) by caressing any body part within reach and trying to meet me at the bar the upcoming weekend.  I guess in a Rob's head (or any guy's mind for that matter) the come on attempt is always worth a shot, but I (and hopefully the majority of my female counterparts) are smart enough to see through these thinly veiled attempts to have a fling with absolutely no commitment or effort on the guy's part (unless that's what you're looking for, then more power to you). 

Needless to say, I have not gone out with this guy again.  Rob, if you're out there reading this, I will be happy to share contact information with you for many a player that could give you some tips on subtlety, charm, and smooth moves.

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