Singletons, Beware!

Smug Marrieds are lurking behind every poinsettia bush and Christmas tree.  As Bridget Jones laments, why is it that all smug marrieds think it's appropriate to ask singletons about their love lives?  I can't tell you how many times in the last week people have asked me the status of my dating life.  Just substitute Bridget for Captain Awesome and the conversation usually goes a little something like this (just a lot less British and not quite so witty):
No, I'm not married.  I prefer to embrace my inner cat lady.
"Hey, Bridge, how's your love life?
You really out to hurry up and get sprugged up, you know old girl?  Time's a-runnin out. Tick tock.
Yes, yes.
Seriously, though.  Offices full of single girls in their thirties--fine physical specimens but they just can't seem to hold down a chap.  Why is that?
Yes, why is it that there are so many unmarried women in their thirties these days, Bridget?
Oh, I don't know.  Suppose it doesn't help that underneath our clothes our entire bodies are covered in scales."

Seriously.  From practical strangers.

If you know me, then fine, thank you for taking an active interest in my life.  As long as that's not the first and only question you ask about me and you don't venture a negative comment or proffer any opinions about where I should be at this point in my life then I'm not opposed to the question coming up in conversation.

If you do not fall in this category, then really, how is my love life any of your business?  Why on earth do you care if or who I am seeing?  You didn't ask my twin sister who she is dating.  She's my age and not married either.  Bug her.  Is it more exotic if I'm seeing someone abroad?  Or am I less likely to find someone because I live in a foreign country?  How is my life any less fulfilled because I don't make finding a husband my number 1 priority?

Argh.  *Stepping down off the soapbox now.*